What do women notice first in men? From surveys taken over the years from leading men’s and women’s magazines, the results haven’t changed much over the past couple of decades. It’s hard to avoid seeing articles covering these topics multiple times per year. So, if you haven’t perused any recently, we’ll cut to the chase and talk about it today.
Why does it matter? Depending on your goals in life, it may not. But for almost everyone else, being physically attractive to others is important. If you are single, finding a life partner may be on your mind, and outside of any pre-arranged marriage, some work must be done if someone is to gravitate towards you. If you are married or attached, physical attraction still plays a key role in keeping the sparks flying and the proverbial flame lit long after the honeymoon years.
Was there a pattern to be found among the responses? How much information can a female take in while only being in your presence for a few moments? Does she give everyone a fighting chance? I will do my best to avoid starting a gender war but suffice to say, sometimes a glance is all you’ll get. And if there’s no immediate connection, it’s a long uphill battle from that point forward.
It’s not so much that you haven’t been given a fair shot or that she won’t give you a chance to display your wonderful personality; it’s just that she knows what she wants and has likely spent a good amount of time in thought with her predetermined list. And if you don’t check off enough boxes for her, you’ll be rather invisible during a first encounter. While we may want to show off how funny or compassionate we are, we have to pass other tests first before she’ll swipe right and give us a chance.
The first two traits listed below were found in every article, and the latter six were the most common after that, but not mentioned nearly as much as the first two. Women tend to first glance at the face and head area of the opposite sex. If they are both standing, this is especially true. Without further ado, here is the list of what women notice first about men:
- Hair and beard appearance – Does he have common sense about hairstyles? Modern women prefer modern hairstyles in general but are more concerned with upkeep. At any given time, a handful of hairstyles are trending in popularity, but having the latest style is rarely make or break. But how well it’s maintained is another story. If the hairstyle or beard is overly messy, the women answering these surveys have responded over and over that it rubs them the wrong way about how those men likely take care of their other responsibilities and possessions. Women answered they would much rather seek out a mate with hair than without. But baldness isn’t always a dealbreaker if it is distinguished and complements some of the other traits below.
- Body shape and posture – Is your general build slim, fit, pudgy? When a woman’s eyes have finished surveying the appearance of your hair and beard, the next item they usually cover is your overall level of fitness. Some women have a set range of what they find acceptable to pursue in a mate – perhaps they’ve ruled out the very obese, for example. They can quickly scan you to see if your height and weight are at least proportionate. Women are notorious for having a height requirement as well, with over 90% preferring to find someone taller than themselves. While we have some control over our general weight, we obviously can’t control the genetics that control our height, so these criteria aren’t entirely fair. But we can all work on maintaining the best posture. How we carry ourselves goes a long way in a female prospect believing we have confidence in ourselves, and it can also make us feel taller.
- Fingernails and hands – Dirt on the hands and under the fingernails? That’s a definite no-no unless the female prospect sees you at work in an occupation where it’s accepted (think manual labor, mechanic, etc.) While dating customers is usually frowned upon, most Americans meet their significant others at work (43%, according to Forbes). And if you and she meet at work, you may be in luck, as there is more of a chance to break beyond the first impressions above and get into deeper conversations. But back to hair and nails. Beyond noticing the cleanliness, she will also check out the length of your fingernails. She may have a predetermined idea of what length she finds acceptable vs. what she finds lazy or unhygienic.
- Body language and Eye contact – Women study gestures. They notice what you do with your hands, even when you’re not using them. They see where you place them when you’re supposed to be listening or when you’re not the focal point of the moment. They read how open you are. Are your shoulders slumping, or is your chest puffing out? Where do your eyes look when she is talking, and do you hold eye contact too little or too long? How close do you physically get to her face when conversing? She also wants to get lost in your eyes. Talk about gravitational pull. This is usually where it happens. It’s not so much the color of them that matters, but the story they tell with the help of your eyebrows and small facial movements.
- Smile – After her eyes have surveyed you up and down, they return to your face as soon as there’s any occasion to smile. She can gather if you are slow to get the meaning of a joke by how quickly you join in laughter. She can assume you may have dental or esteem issues if you rarely show your pearly whites.
- Clothing and Style – This is similar to hairstyle and beards. Meaning, do you have fashion sense? Are you a sharp dresser, and do you dress for the occasion? Do your clothes fit your body type well? When dressing for work in an office, is your necktie from this decade? Do your clothes scream, “Look at me!” or does your entire wardrobe consist of only black and grey?
- Scent – This one is lower on the list but not any less important. It only finds itself down here because the ones above can be noticed from afar, even if you haven’t had the chance to speak to her yet. But your scent matters. What does her nose notice about you? It gives her a clue about your hygiene and your aroma in the form of a body spray or cologne, and to some degree, your hair and skin products. This is one of the easier items on this list to change if it doesn’t meet her approval and if she wants to meet a second time.
- Social and Emotional Intelligence – How are you in a crowd? Are you the same person when amongst a smaller group? Are you someone who is comfortable starting a conversation with her or any stranger, and are you able to hold it without long, dry spells of silence? How do you treat a waitress or janitor? How do you handle disappointment in general and in the form of rejection? Do you have to have the last word, or are you able to let go?
There is no need for you to change who you are. But if you want others to find you more attractive, then the first task on the list is to listen to what they are telling you. Their preferences are stated strongly, and if you take them seriously and want different results than you’re currently getting, then become ready to make changes where you see fit. Test the waters with the changes that you feel most comfortable making.
If you feel your hairline is something you’ve gotten negative feedback on before, or if it doesn’t align with your desired appearance, please come visit us at Advanced Medical Hair Institute to see what we can do for you. We’re not experts in dating, but we are experts in hair restoration. Not everyone can pull off the sophistication and elegance of balding like Dwayne Johnson or Bruce Willis, so our doors are open.
